Sunday, May 18, 2008

Local Man pushes for sex strike

Local Man has really lost it this time. While in Denver, he's pushing for an addition of a one-day sex strike by women to the state's constitution. According to Channel 7 in the Mile High City, Local Man Wants Sex Strike On Ballot.

The idea is not entirely new, says the TV station. In the fifth century Greek comedy "Lysistrata" by Aristophanes, the female residents of a Greek town barricade the public funds building and withold sex from their husbands to end the Peloponnesian War.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Local Man tries to kill Local Boy

Apparently there is a problem in the Local Family. While passing through Bloomington, Indiana, Local Man was picked up on some serious charges. According to the Indiana Daily Student, Local man arrested for attempted murder of son.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Local Man a horse fan

Whenever Local Man has had some extra time and money lately, he's been handcrafting a giant equine to show off his talents. The Tribune-Chronicle in Mesopotamia, Ohio, reports: Local man building oversized horse. Dedication will take place in July during the annual ox roast.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Locals alive and well and playing squash

Haven't heard much about our favorite family lately, so it was good to hear this report out of Niagara Falls: Locals alive at squash nationals.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Local Man sets good example

Here's the Local Man we all love, fighting for truth, justice and the American way. As we see, our hero has been in Peoria, Ill., where according to WHOI, Local man takes stand against deadbeats.

Local Man on the down-low

We've been looking for Local Man these past few days, but strangely he's been leading an ultra low-key life. Then we find out from the Circleville (Ohio) Herald that he has been missing: Local man not found on Monday.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Local Man a quiz show genius

Local Man is smart. Being smart helps him when he hits a new town -- he knows how to pick up some quick cash wherever he is. So it's no surprise KIMA-TV in Yakima, Wash., is reporting about his Jeopardy exploits: Local Man Winning The Big Bucks On Jeopardy.