Friday, April 25, 2008

Local Man a quiz show genius

Local Man is smart. Being smart helps him when he hits a new town -- he knows how to pick up some quick cash wherever he is. So it's no surprise KIMA-TV in Yakima, Wash., is reporting about his Jeopardy exploits: Local Man Winning The Big Bucks On Jeopardy.

Local Man realizes 1970s dream

Who hasn't had this dream? Local Man recently fulfilled a decades-long desire to get face to face with Dolly Parton. The Cleveland Daily Banner reports: Local man meets Parton, life long dream realized. He also got to meet Marsha Brady!

Local Man top newcomer in kitchen

Local Man's prowess in the kitchen has caught the attention of a top food magazine. Says Channel 3 in Philadelphia: Local Man Named America's Best New Chef.

Local Man a hero in Canada

Local Man was busy the other night in Cincinnati scanning the Internet for threats to children when lo and behold he discovered an anonymous threat aimed at a Montreal school. Says the Kentucky Post: Local Man Thwarts School Shooting In Canada.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Local Man Down Under

Local Man is down in Australia today turning the tables on those who seek to find his identity. Rather than let others ask questions of him, he's on the offensive, reports the Latrobe Valley Express, which published: Local man's quest to put a face to a name .

Local Man not a handyman

We never said it was a good idea to let Local Man into your home. Just a hunch, based on his checkered past. So it's no surprise to see the Times Daily in Florence, Alabama, reporting: Local man charged with home repair fraud.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Local Man ... hee hee

We admit it, we giggled when we saw the headline Local man rides the nobbies to the big time, but wouldn't you? Anyway, it appears Local Man has fun in his spare time motocross racing in Zanesville, Ohio.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Local Man selling fake Rolexes

We always wonder how Local Man supports himself. We hear things from time to time. Sometimes he appears to be a nefarious scoundrel. Apparently this time he's selling fake Rolexes. neSays the Windsor Star: Local man investigated.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Local Man puts family to work

Local Man has a conscience, of course, and he tries to instill that on all his relatives. So it's not surprising Local Man made a family outing out of Earth Day festivities in Canada. According to a St. Catharines, Ont., newspaper: Locals pitch in for city cleanup

Local Man hits high speeds

We always knew Local Man was a speedy fellow, able to cross whole continents in the blink of an eye. Apparently he is putting that talent to good use in the American Le Mans Series. Take it from the Daily 49er, Cal State Long Beach's definitive source for campus news: Local man reaches high speeds.

Local Man turns 40

We can't vouch for the veracity of this story out of Texas, but in addition to caving in to the "reality" TV craze, Local Man is turning 40 and will do so before a studio audience (ed. note: we could have swore he was actually about 140 years old, with some Dorian Gray thing going on). Says the Herald-Zeitung: Local man to be featured on reality show.