Locals alive and well and playing squash

Haven't heard much about our favorite family lately, so it was good to hear this report out of Niagara Falls: Locals alive at squash nationals.

Local Man sets good example

Here's the Local Man we all love, fighting for truth, justice and the American way. As we see, our hero has been in Peoria, Ill., where according to WHOI, Local man takes stand against deadbeats.

Local Man on the down-low

We've been looking for Local Man these past few days, but strangely he's been leading an ultra low-key life. Then we find out from the Circleville (Ohio) Herald that he has been missing: Local man not found on Monday.